I flash back to that incident of decades ago, because as soon as I appeared at this year's Halloween party, it was announced . . . Let’s greet people who just came in – naming me. Everybody’s eyes and applause directed toward me, making me feel not just unmasked, but stripped of my intended anonymity. An MC of the evening, in her version of a clown outfit – handed me an award – a small box of candy, a double offense. Seen in another way, I was being honored.
THE PARTY
Armed with my "Flip", I came to capture the masks, snippets of the party. There were only a handful of them. I sat next to a table of Chinese residents. A program started with a humorous poem, authored by the MC herself, alluding to failing banks, endangering her of becoming an – “old bag lady”. There was a sparse laughter, half of the audience non-speaking English. Cake and drinks were offered. There was a bustling of servers and residents weaving among the tables. A guitarist/singer provided zesty, musical background. By the time he intoned “Good night Irene” the English speaking audience was swaying in rhythm, buoyed by the drink of the evening – sparkling cider. A song can also intoxicate.
I come from a culture, where grandparents lived with their families and made themselves useful by watching their grandchildren; they were not expected to frolic and carry on at any holidays. Yet, my grandmother, unusual for her, laughed so hard at a Purim party, that she fell off the chair. Next day she was ill and in three days she died. Growing up next to her, I thought that’s how old people were – even-tempered, caring, just but not self-righteous, thinking of others, before themselves.Demythifying: Wisdom does not set in at a certain age like wisdom teeth, or social security. It is acquired, or not, throughout life. Aging distills a person’s character and appearance down to their essence. Let's treat the aged like it's us (everyone "gets there"), with compassion (ultimately it's compassion for oneself), not pity, not as objects of do-gooding, although kindness is welcome. Old people's faces appear as masks of their younger selves.
MASKS – personally
MASK Slides
See you at the next posting!
